Think Consciously
BAD HABITS
Thinking Consciously
Many of my clients run unconscious campaigns that do not serve them. When they discover these and do the work to change them their life is never the same again
Do you recognize any of these non deliberate (unconscious) habits?
Are you?...
The Victim – You are forever being unfairly treated. It is what is happening to you that causes all the drama in your life. When offered a suggestion you may say something like ‘I already tried that and it didn’t work. You might have thoughts like: ‘It’s not my job’ or ‘What could I do?’ or ‘Some people get all the breaks’. When interacting with others you might claim blamelessness or seek alliance in others similar to prove your thoughts of lack of responsibility.
Mr. or Mrs. Righteous – You put others down to feel better. But we all know that doesn’t really work. You might have thoughts like: ‘ Everyone is incompetent but me’ or ‘ I have done so much for them and what do I get out of it? You will prove others wrong to feel better or ease the pain of feeling bad. This really only gives short term pain relief and devalues others to a one rung down position.
The hero – a close relative to Mr and Mrs Righteous. Your thoughts and conversation are focused on making you feel better. Mostly, you are trying to convince yourself that you are enough and worthy. Do you spend time thinking or telling others how strong, self-sacrificing or good you are? If so, you might be running a hero campaign. It is very popular. Why do we do it.? To make ourselves feel better of course and boost our sense of self. Only problem is if we don’t clean up our thinking and allow ourselves to feel our feelings of smallness we never really get to be as big as we really are. Real heroes be honest and confront their inner authentic feelings. This takes courage. The more we practice anything we get better at it. If we practice feeling our feelings, even when they are uncomfortable we get better at it and grow bigger. If we practice running our hero campaign we getter better at staying small.
One –down Campaign – This is where we put ourselves down with our thoughts and when interacting with other people. Thoughts that create us to feel less of value. This way we cannot fail or we can fish for compliments. We might say things like: ‘If only I were more like…’or we flatter others, claim incompetents, or shrink from competitive situations. We do not have to fear loosing OR is this the result of the fear of loosing. We cannot fail if we set ourselves up one-down already. Only problem is we do not get to be the next best version of ourselves. This takes GRIT (courage and persistence).
Not my fault – We love to avoid responsibility.
Our formula looks like this:
Failure plus Good Excuse equals Success
It takes courage to stand up and say ‘Yep, I did this and it didn’t work. To take the flak, rather than shifting it to someone else takes courage and brings growth to the next best version of our self.
What Campaigns are you running?
Which non-deliberate thoughts have you been entertaining?
Take the time to discover your thoughts. Are they serving you? For example, I realize I have been running the hero campaign, bragging about an achievement to a friend and over exaggerating it. I look beneath the surface and see that I am doing this because I am secretly scared I am not reaching my full potential. In this moment I have a choice. I can keep bragging or I can take a deep risk and admit to myself and my friend, “ I realize I am boasting because I fear I am not good enough’. This is a breakthrough experience and super freeing. The more I practice my truth the better I get at it. Just the same as the more I practice bragging and lying to others and myself the better I get at that. Success and growth hastens toward those who have the courage to engage in truth and be authentic.
The Life Coaching Model (Developed by Brooke Castillo founder and creator of The Life Coaching School)
Examples of Non Intentional Model and Intentional Model
Non-intentional model
Circumstance– Talk to friend about my achievements
Thought– I am not reaching my full potential. I will look incompetent
Feeling – scared
Action – I boast and over exaggerate my achievement
Result – I lie and this does not serve me because I am not being authentic and true to my friend or myself
NOW ASK: What do I want to feel? What result do I want? What will I chose to think? Do I like my choice? Does it serve me?
Put this into the new intentional model
Intentional model
C – Talk to friend about my achievements
T – I have not reached my full potential YET. This is OK
F – Motivated, honest
A – I tell my friend the truth
R – I have an open and honest relationship with myself and my friend. This serves me.
When you work with me i will teach you the Life Coaching Model
It changes lives